Love Is Not Sex

Most people believe that sex and love belong to one package. Having sexual intercourse with someone, according to those who believe this is so, is equivalent to falling in love. They say that one cannot exist without the other. Actually, this is definitely not the case.

What Studies Say

According to a research conducted by Diamond, a University of Utah psychology professor, sexual desire and love are both functionally independent. Sex is not a mediating factor to declare that a specific couple is in love. You can fall in love with someone you are not sexually attracted to.

As described in Diamond’s article in Psychological Review 2003, sexual desire encompasses sexual union for reproductive purposes, while romantic love, on the other hand, is governed by a bond between two loving individuals. Thus, the difference between wanting to have sex due to lust-related pleasure and wanting to have sex due to romantic love is being emphasized.

Sex Is Not Essential In A Loving Relationship

That is very true. You do not ultimately need to have sex with your partner just to say that you do love him or her. There are other better methods to show your affection towards your partner, and having sex with him or her is definitely not a necessity. 

Many people enjoy the love in their relationship even when they have not had sex, ever. On the other hand, there are other people who have sex all the time since God knows when and love would not even have anything to do with it.

Do not think that just because you do not have sex with your partner it means that you do not love him or her enough. What is important in a relationship is love itself. All that cuddling and kissing are also important, but you do not have to submit yourself to giving absolutely everything if you, or both of you, do not feel ready just yet. There is absolutely no need to rush things.

What The Bible Says

In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4, it says that love is, indeed, patient and that love is kind. Love is also never envious or arrogant with pride. Rushing things, thus having sex with your partner when one of you or neither of you is ready just yet, will not make your relationship a better one. Love will bring out the patient person within you.

How To Identify Love From Sex

Sex is when you simply succumb to your worldly desires. You feel sexually attracted to someone you would hardly know and would actually do something about it by flirting with that someone, which, in turn, will take you both to the same bed. In this case, love has absolutely nothing to do with it. It is like you just scratched an itch, and then the both of you will get on with your separate lives. A perfect example of this is one night stands, which are absolutely meaningless, except that they feed your lust.

Making love is when both parties really put their heart and soul in their lovemaking, being completely honest with each other in the process. It is not selfish, since you would want your partner to feel pleasure as well as yourself, as compared to simply having sex, because with sex, you would prioritize your own sexual pleasure.

Simply put, love involves affinity, while sex only involves lust, which in turn is based solely on desire.

Lustful Relationships

Couples in a lustful relationship place their own personal needs and wants before those of their partner. Thus, it is a selfish kind of relationship. This, alone, is proof enough that your partner disrespects you and your being. This selfishness would affect the foundation of your relationship and would soon influence how your relationship would end. 

For example, a certain person in a lustful relationship would keep insisting on doing something his or her partner obviously does not enjoy. The satisfaction, pleasure and happiness of the partner are not being taken into account, but rather, only the gratification of the wants and desires of the other.