It has been said that for us to love others we need to first be able to forgive ourselves. The logic has been that the capacity to love beyond oneself may be impaired by our own inadequacy to be compassionate with ourselves. It seems that love and forgiveness go hand in hand. The act of forgiving can also be an act of love. Forgiveness can mean acceptance and acceptance is an expression of love.
Whilst this may be true, it is not the gospel truth. In unique situations the act of loving others serves as a catalyst to one's own self healing and therefore hastening the process of self forgiveness. Whilst one may not have been able to completely forgive oneself this does not stop anyone from the act of loving others. Forgiveness can take time and this will depend on our perception of the gravity of our offenses. Our lack of remorse also plays a great part. The lack of forgiveness for oneself may spring from a want of repentance that may arise due to a high standard of righteousness imposed on oneself. It may also come from reasons beyond our control or even of betrayal.
This does not mean though that we stop our efforts to be considerate to our weaknesses. It only means that we be patient and in due time we will be healed. What is vital is to realize that our lack of self forgiveness makes us restricted as spiritual beings and that we need to have the intention and desire to be whole again.
So though we may have not completely forgiven ourselves we still ought to show our love for others. The road to forgiveness and love will always cross each other and we must dare to take the steps towards it. It may also be that we would require to call upon our higher self or an invitation for divine intervention. Sometimes we need to get out of our perceived notions of who we are and simply be. In our natural state our past and future are of no consequence and therefore conducive to the acceptance of oneself. When we stop self judgment we stop the thoughts that cause our self destruction. When we affirm our goodness we get closer to who we really are. The more we are attuned to our true selves the more we are able to love not because we have to but because it becomes a natural expression of our being. In the end we would see ourselves healed and glorified as we were meant to be.